I Am Not My Own

So this morning while balancing my checkbook and writing my tithe check I came to realize something. Well not really realize it, but its just something I've always known, just not something that I think about often enough. As I was writing my tithe check (which is for my church back home because I still feel like its "my church" so my tithe should go there, and it ended up being one check for 3 paychecks' tithes) I thought about how I shouldn't care about how this money is money I cannot spend on useless worldy things because it is God's money anyway. I suddenly felt peace when I thought about how I am only a steward of God's money so I shouldn't worry about having enough money for things. I am not my own. Everything I have is given to me by God, I just have to be sure to make sure I use His money for the things I need. God provides me with everything I have (clothes, food, etc.). I belong to God. Its an amazing peace to feel. Of course it always brings me back to the book of Matthew where Jesus preaches on not worrying. The birds never worry about having food to eat, and God provides food for them. The flowers never worry about clothes to wear, and God clothes them. How much more does God care for us, His children!

Like I said before, this is something I have always known, just never brouth to the front of my mind. Its amazing how God takes these things that you already know and gives you a new peace about it.

Homesick

So I am beginning to feel a little homesick. Well I always miss home, but I miss it more than usual lately. Saturday my dad called from Will's teeball game and told me that Jack was asking about me. Jack was too shy to talk to me on the phone though, but it was nice to know he misses me. Then last night Will and Jack were over at my parent's house and my dad called to ask me about something and Jack wanted to talk to me. So I talked to Jack on the phone for a little bit! He is so adorable. At the end of my conversation with Jack I said, "I love you Jack!" and his repsonse was a loud "I love you Manda!!!" I miss those two boys a lot. They grow up so fast when I'm not there. Luckily Father's day is in about 2 weeks and I'll be home once more.

This weekend was fun though. It was the first weekend since we moved in that Aimee and I were both at the apartment. The weekend before was my first full weekend at the apartment and Aimee was working all weekend. My friend Sarah came for a visit for the entire weekend. She arrived Thursday evening and left yesterday evening. It was a lot of fun. We stayed up so late talking. I meant to go to sleep at a decent time, but we couldn't stop talking. Friday we went and saw Land of the Lost. Not a bad movie. Pretty funny. There were several unnecessary indecent parts, but it is Will Ferrel. Saturday our friend Andy came to visit so the four of us (me, aimee, sarah and andy) hung out all day. We played the game of life and watched "the rocker." Andy made me mad while playing Life because he sued me everytime he landed on the lawsuit space. This was unfair because even though I began the game with the doctor career card which makes the most money, I lost my job and had to get a new one which was a huge cut in pay. Even after I got a new job that was the lowest paying out of the four of us, he still sued me. Luckily I landed on that space too and sued him to get my money back, but he landed on another one for the second time. He sued me again. So I screamed at him and told him that I hold grudges so he better watch out. But I luckily got the chance to sue him right back and get my 100,000 back. Basically, I learned that I am a sore loser, lol! even thought I didn't lose. I ended the game with more money than him. Luckily Aimee and Sarah thought my reactions were hilarious rather than embarrassing.

Sunday we all met up after church for lunch (sarah and I go to a different church than aimee and andy). After we ate, we went to a park to walk around. Then we went and saw the movie "The Hangover" definitely a bad movie...funny, but horrible. Aimee and I covered our faces for most of the movie. A lot of unexpected things would pop up.

I don't know why everytime I blog, it becomes a summary of my week or day. If you want to take something from this blog, then take this advice: don't go see the hangover. the end.

learning to confront

I am one of the least confrontational people ever. This isn't a good thing. It means I let people walk all over me without saying what I think. I just hate making people mad with me or causing uneccesary arguments. Well getting an apartment and having roommates does require me to voice my opinion. When we got our apartment my roommates talked about having a mini charcoal grill. We live on the fourth floor. They talked about how they are going to grill on the deck even though technically it's against the law. They said if anyone said anything they'd say they didn't know. Well day came to sign our lease, and the rules about grilling were included. We had to initial and sign. The rules for grilling at our apartment includes not only not grilling on the deck, but also needing to be a good 10ft away from the building (aparently one of the apartment complexes the company owns had a fire due to a grill be too close to the building).

One day a couple weeks ago my roommates decide to grill hamburgers. They begin grilling on the deck. I make some kind of sarcastic comment like, "I'm not paying for the fine if you get caught" trying to let them know I don't agree with them grilling out there. The next time they get ready to grill I bring it up again about how we could get into big trouble for grilling on our deck. It's illegal and we signed our lease. Technically we could get evicted if we get caught. Of course since I don't want to make a big argument, again I jokingly say all of this mentioning how they will be the ones paying for the fines. Well then they have friends over this weekend and they all decided to grill again. This time its a bit windy out so as they are finishing, we do get some smoke into our apartment. This worries me because I could just see our smoke detectors going off and we will get in big trouble if they do. Luckily they don't go off. I then realized that I was going to have to work up the courage to confront them about this issue.

Last night I went on a walk with one of my roommates. Somehow the conversation got on grills because we walked past a couple. I then bring up the fact that our smoke detectors could have gone off with that smoke in our apartment (which I had already mentioned during the time) and how I'm willing to sit out in the parking lot to do the grilling when we want something grilled. My roommate then said that we will probably begin grilling out in the parking lot from now on andhow probably all of us will just sit outside there with it. What relief! I finally got them to listen to me without a big argument. I think the reason they grilled out on the deck in the first place was becasue they were used to breaking rules and getting away with it, and I think they finally realized that maybe grilling on the deck is something we mgiht not be able to get away with afterall.

Ok I know to most of you (or probably all of you) this whole situation is not a big deal. To me it was something that had been bugging me for the past couple weeks. I knew what the right thing to do was, but I didn't want my roommates angry at me over something that small. I guess God just provides a way for me to do what I need to do. It was definitaly not my persuading that changed my roommates minds.

Maybe I'll take this situation, and be able to work up enough courage to confront when needed.